No Paranoia, No Mania

One of the most famous old sayings shows
"The meaning of life is to die"
that indicates who wants to die by oneself doesn't
realize the "true" meaning of life


Now I have no eagerness to do sth appriciated socially,
no will to kill myself being despared with my own life,
no desire to be absorbed in childish and crude hobbies,
and no energy to survive for f'in' 10's and 20's


Everything seems to be an obligation, nevertheless,
all I've done is regarded as of no use
This means my life has no meaning and no significance,
even though it used be felt as a senseful and memorable one for me


It's the time I think the miserable times go to the end
Death is more implied than life with no satisfaction or even with mental extraordinarinesses,
even if it is brought by other persons or by yourself
So I can say "The meaning of death is to die"


To keep myself away from this dilemma, need to be paranoia at all, and
have many delusions in my brain that may make my life satisfied
Or I need to be mania in every aspect of my circumstance, and
have much fury against the government, the society and the family


Either way of life let me free from that double-binding,
they're different from surviving this silly and absurd world,
or choosing suicide using rope, briquettes or H2S gas
Don't you agree to it? --no, I don't recommend